Thursday, March 30, 2017

Sandy and Salty

The
more I learn how to do this platform, the more I am asking myself the question
“What do I vlog about?” and I think “maybe I shouldn’t be on this platform” but
then I realize. I am a dreamer. I am a Cali girl, an actress, a comedian, a
painter. I have a family and rescue dogs and a successful business. I love
fashion and film, especially the ones I am part of. And so so much more I can
share as soon as I get my wings- which are from you. The naysayers are right
when they say I have no idea what I’m doing. No one said that but I am always
doubting things because I am beautifully flawed like everyone else. But here is
the thing. I never have known what I was doing until I was right in the middle
of it. I just know I want to find a way to show what I’m passionate about. I
want to live my life out loud. There is such an importance to love, and
respect, and support each other. Together I believe we will be stronger. So I
offer you a place in my journey, let’s fly together free. If I motivate you, it
makes me motivate and move my butt to do the things I want to vlog about
too. 






















If not, I would most likely isolate at home,
stay in torn in bed wearing torn up pajamas, and never showerering. Okay,
eventually I would shower. There was a time when I was younger when I was so
lonely, so desperate for love and right in the middle of my drug addictions,
when I lived at Budget Suites with a Sugar Daddy who had run out of money. My
John. I wasn’t a prostitute I was with him for money yes, but he didn’t have
any so he was basically just an old guy I was with co dependently, and he was
like a father, who wanted to fuck me but was impotent. So, never showering
while living in a week-to-week motel he couldn’t afford while both addicted to
anything toxic. That man is dead now, the drugs finally did him in, his body
and the diabetes couldn’t keep up. I do like that I felt John knew my sickest
darkest secrets but looking back the worst of it was me, alone, surviving the
best I could with the tools I had. And for a lot kids living the life
misunderstood, those from New York Orphan Trains and all the way west to Tinsel
Town. Those people are like me. Like my brother, Tommy.

 I actually have so much to do, and accomplish.
I love this vlog for the push it gives me to get up and outside and live and do
things. I need this vlog. I’m a rookie at life being okay, so I need you guys
to subscribe and let’s fly together. 




I started out as an abandoned baby left behind
at a head shop in Deep Ellum Dallas Texas. Basically traded for a pipe. That’s
my first resentment. She should of totally gone for the bong. After all, she
did name me Cannibus. Mary Jane was taken. It’s true.
Then
I was adopted and…should be the title of my book I’ve said that so much.
I
had a pretty crappy childhood then lived a pretty insane life riddled with
depression and anxiety as I grew into a young know it all stripper out in the
world doing piles of cocaine, 116 lbs of my bones riding atop a drug dealer
with a gut, his hump like a camels.
Not as a feeling, but
as a real set-back for me sometimes but, look where I am now. It’s amazing to
me that I found my way to California, where dreams come true every single day!
I love it here so much, and I’ve connected with some really amazing and
creative people. I found love. I have a family here. I have my husband,
and daughter here, my dogs, my life.




I want to validate talented and cool people here
on my channel who may not otherwise be seen.. I’ve often felt ignored or
forgotten, so I never would want that feeling for anyone. Someone said,
who do you want your audience, your freebirds to be and I answered “Those that
are the forgotten, the ones that fall between the cracks like you and me.”




I’m lucky to know now more of what I want in
this vlog:

Sandy and Salty

Friday, March 17, 2017