Monday, September 29, 2008


Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me. That is the biggest lie. Today Amber is trying to build back her self esteem after a gal who used to be a pal "fired" her as a friend. Although there is alot of love in the world to give and recieve, friendships and people sometimes fall short of what we expect. That's why it's better to not have expectations. Words can hurt, insults hurt, and being told you aren't worth it, hurts. It's hard sometimes to focus on the good things in life, and the true friendships around when your esteem is bruised. Esteemable acts recreate our self worth, but sometimes the trudge back up the ladder is a hard climb. Amber works daily on a spiritual reprieve to keep sanity throughout the journey. Words hurt. And they hurt bad. I will never let anyone feel like they are less than.....ever.

Friday, September 26, 2008

Bones continued


Last night was difficult for us because some romantic changes were made in life for Amber. She broke it off finally with Brian and that makes me sad because I like him taking me outside. He was a good friend to me...and he will be missed.

Sometimes we have to let something go in order to make room for what we really need. It's hard when you have to live through the "in between" on relationships. It can get really lonely.

But Amber is hitting her knees hard and praying for God to guide her towards things that are meant for her.

Good is good, but amazing is outstanding!

Thursday, September 25, 2008

goals and expectations

We woke up way to early..and one of my sister doggies Jillian got out of the gate, so Amber panicked and when she was found by some nice fellow, everyone felt a relief. There is a small menagerie at our home, there is me, jillian, and Sasha...of course we are all full bred brats, with two fish. I won't count Amber's tattoo of a turtle as a pet. The house is always fluttering with anxious excitement of some sort, and when we are left alone we can't wait for someone to come home. We jump up and down, growl, bark and basically scare away anyone coming in the houe but Amber and Annmarie.....Did I mention...Our roomate Annmarie is a princess..and if it's pink, it's hers.

Sometimes in life we have unrealistic goals and expectations. But this is the American Dream.....where you can do anything. Today Amber went to work hoping to take on the world. She handed some screenplays to an independant filmmaking company--said a prayer and put the results in Gods hands. She also gave two amazing screenplays that friends wrote to the guys---because they were good, and karma of serving others is important. Watching others succeed makes my tail wag. But is the dream of being successful and making major motion pictures too much to dream for? Others do it, why not her? The success in her independant film life is just enough to keep on trudging. Sometimes she wishes she didn't have such high dreams and expectations. Life would be alot simpler if she just married a good ol boy, made dinner, had kids....and went to church on Sunday. But the instinct and drive would never let her do that.

Relationships have been a challenge for Amber this week, but I never let her out of my site and she knows she is loved. Relationships can be hard because it's another place where great expectations can be there, and people can let us down. Friends become family for me and Amber. Her feelings are still a bit sour today from the friendship that was broken a few days ago. A real friend would communicate and consider the other persons feelings. Romance.....well let's not even go there. I really like Amber's guy, but sometimes she is unhappy with him. I know I wont be taking any rings down a wedding isle, and I want that for her. I can imagine her with a big beautiful gown with a prince charming at the end. Prince Charming was a polygamist though- saving all the different women..Cinderella, Snow White, Rupunzel... the women are probobly having a challenging happily ever after in their story too, but we never hear about that.

Today Amber heard from her girlfriend Happy which brings back alot of memories from a past that was so long ago, and now only remembered in stories. Makes me think of who we are now, who we wanted to be, and who we were then.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Best friends

My name is Charlie. I'm Amber Lee's best friend, and I am a dog. I have alot of adventures with Amber and I learn about something new every day. Sometimes through alot of moaning and growling, and other times with peace and serenity. Today Amber went to work and she is starting all over again on a new chapter of life. Sometimes it's hard to let go of things from the past. I hang on to things so tight sometimes that my jaw locks. I will bark, and howl, and pout..and pee on everything around me and then look around and wonder what I possibly did wrong. I guess I'm what you call a "fixer-upper."

Amber's feelings were hurt when a friend told her she wasn't "fixed up" enough and that she had behaved badly by making everything about her. This is a friend who was truly not a friend, but in a popularity contest. So sometimes no matter how hard we try to please others you have to be loving and kind and patient with those you care about. Amber cried and I curled up with her as I always do, because it's not other people that can make us happy but ourselves. Amber is working hard at her new job as a television producer. Sometimes she comes home at night and continues working until her eyes pop out of her head. It's that aim to please, the desire to do good. The feeling of wanting to belong, to connect, to create.

Life is a wonderful journey and our life is truly blessed. Sometimes you just need to look at things through a new pair of glasses. Tonight we are going to curl up with a blanket at the end of the day, with a new pair of glasses and a good book.