Saturday, October 11, 2008

Fall

Today I woke up and burrowed under the blanket with Amber. The weather is changing and we are feeling fall in the air. Have you ever felt that your life is lacking the right sort of excitement? Do you watch James Bond or Tomb Raider and then go back to a mug of cocoa and a nice pair of slippers? Blues and troubles take a lot of energy and time away from our life experience. As a puppy I like habit, but life passes by those who don’t go out and do things that are different, exciting, and challenging. Focusing on what you love is the key to having a magical life, so why is it so hard to get up, get dressed and get out there with the others? Going confidently in the direction of your dreams is different, but the outcome can be more than you imagined if you just try. If any of you want to go on an adventure with Amber, call her. It is time to live now.

Amber is also clearing out the wreckage of her past and making amends to those she has hurt. Writing a list of those that are important to us-but that we have hurt in the past is hard, because pride and ego can get in the way. Looking at Amy and how resentments controlled her destiny can be a lesson to us all. God bless Amy. It is with great and intimate compassion that her life is an example to Amber now. It is tragic that her loss of life and hope is what we can all learn from. It should never have had to be so extreme. It is motivating to Amber because she understood Amy’s pain, and I have felt it within my own bones so deep, that there were moments I never thought she could make it out of a bad feeling.

Our lovely Annmarie is sorting through magazines looking for the right look for her Femme Fatale photo shoot this morning and Amber is thinking of the beach. Like everyone Annmarie has had a heavy load thrown her way, and this week was especially trying for her. But admiration for her going after her dreams never ceases to amaze us. On the other hand her x boyfriend is incapable of moving past their breakup and it took a restraining order to protect her space to move on. Amber wrote him a letter offering resources for counseling, or 12 step groups. The help is out there to live a blessed life. Some choose to stay the way they are, and others choose to move forward and change so that life can give them everything beyond their wildest dreams. Last night Brian came over and helped Amber organize her home, as she threw away things that just clutter her life. He can be quite helpful when he wants to be. He is a funny guy who is so different from Amber that they bang heads often. She loves her friend though, and hopes they never create a situation that would make them not friends. Expectations of others and trying to make them into something they are not can ruin a connection—and Amber is learning to accept people just as they are.

So instead of burrowing under the blanket, I will accept the new fall, and let the leafs of change fall where they may. After all, this is our life…we have to choose how to live it.